Nothing boosts your self-confidence or nurtures your positive attitude more than a mentor. And remember this…you’re never too old or too young to have one
The ability to find and benefit from a mentor is one of the key lessons to be drawn from the extraordinary life of Eleanor Roosevelt. As Robin Gerber, author of Leadership the Eleanor Roosevelt Way explains, great mentors "will not only lead you on your future professional path but also help you to realize your full potential- spiritually, mentally, emotionally."
Eleanor did not have a happy childhood. After losing her parents at a young age, she had no one to show her any respect or affection. And because she was unattractive and lacked certain social graces, her own family members- not to mention other children- insulted and ridiculed her.
Ordinarily such a childhood would lead to a lack of self-esteem and confidence. Nothing, as we all know, was further from the truth. She was not afraid to fly in the face of convention, to do exactly as she pleased with the whole world watching. How did the shy, unattractive girl become the smiling, confident Eleanor Roosevelt?
Much of the success of this great lady has to do with another lady- a mentor she met in boarding school. Marie Souvestre was the French headmistress of the English boarding school to which Roosevelt was sent when she was 15 years old. Instead of laughing at Roosevelt, Souvestre encouraged and complimented Eleanor on her intellect, her proficiency in the French language, and her attitude toward the other girls. Slowly, Souvestre built up young Eleanor’s confidence, in essence creating the young woman who later would take on the world.
Ask yourself who could make a positive difference in your life. When faced with difficult choices or challenges, to whom could you turn for guidance? The answer might not come to you immediately, and that’s probably for the best. What I would suggest is that you go through your address books and make a list of candidates. List the strengths and weaknesses of each person, and rank potential mentors in the order of preference. At that point, I’d arrange a lunch with your top choice (or send a letter) to gauge their interest. You might be surprised at how flattered some people are that you asked; however, if a mentoring relationship doesn’t work out, move to your second choice. I’ve always lived by the "nothing ventured, nothing gained" theory, and selecting a mentor is one place to put it to the test.
I also suggest you read books specifically about mentoring relationships, but for now I hope I’ve helped you take that first step. The right mentor can change your life in many positive ways.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
You might also enjoy my new novel, “Eleanor vs. Ike” which is the inspirational story of what might have happened if Eleanor Roosevelt had run for President!
I have always been inspired by Eleanor Roosevelt and I also can see the benefits of having a mentor. Actually I’ve spent a lot of time looking for a mentor in my field and have had limited success. It would be great to know of some resources for help in this area.
Hi Mac,
Mentors have been a great advantage tome through out my life. I have recently picked up a much younger mentor. I find that my contemporaries are unvable to help with understanding the younger generations, so I have turned to one of their own so that I can learn how they view the world and changes that are happening to those who will follow behind me and be left to make the improvements that will be necessary.
Gary
I liked the last person’s blog about the younger generation. I keep in touch with my 41 year old daughter and my 21 year old granddaughter. That helps a lot. JP
I agree with this statment. No matter how old or young you are, you should always have a mentor or someone to pick you up and teach you right from wrong. They will be there for you to get you through everyday life and the many paths you will endure. I can say my mom has been my mentor through life. She has allowed me to learn from both her mistakes and my own, and taught me what to do to avoid them the next time.
i think its very important to have a mentor to guide you through the ups an downs of life. someone who is there to lead the way and to help you learn about the bigger things in life, i think self-confindence can grow emenssly if you have a mentor giving you that extra boost of confindence.
My parents have acted as mentors through most of my life, because they give me honest advice that came from experience. But as i’m growning older, i’ve realized that sometimes your parents can’t give you the advice you need, because they do things just to keep you safe, and sometimes it’s good to make mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes you can’t talk to your direct family about things, and it’s good to find a mentor that you can trust and tell anything too. It feels great when someone genuinly listens to what you have to say and gives advice from the heart.
Mentors have helped me through my enitre life. They give me tips to become better at what I am doing. They also encourage me to continue what I’m doing and never give up. With out a mentor I wouldn’t be able to get through some tough situations.
I think mentors are helpful in whatever field you are in. when i was in the 5th i was a mentor to new students and i helped them find there way around the school, and thats what people need to do in the real world just stop and help someone out if they are not sure what to do.
His cxomments were accurate. But the real meanings of what he says doesn’t make much sense. He might help other people that really need the advise.
Hi Mac,
For some years now I have been having dreams and compelling emotions that I am to heal people physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s more of – I am going to help teach people to heal themselves.
I have no idea what this means – but it has lead me to read a lot of books that will help me if that is what I am supposed to do…. Each day I feel more strongly inclined – I read in one of Jack Angelo’s books that meeting another healer can help me understand my calling better… I would love that.
Thanks
Joan
The truth of your suggestion to find a mentor is beautifully illustrated by the 12-step programs such as AA, Al-Anon, NA, ACOA, etc. These 12-step groups encourage a newcomer to find a sponsor (i.e. mentor). This sponsor is someone who has struggled the same struggles, made the same mistakes, guides without judging, shares honest observations, and provides someone to “keep them honest” about what is important in the steps of recovery. My mother was a great sponsor and I remember her asking someone who had stumbled and fallen in their recovery one night… She very simply asked him a self-revealing question: “So, which step were you working when you fell off the wagon?” A sponsor/mentor becomes invaluable at living the serenity prayer: Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, and the wisdom to know the difference”