Our emotions are powerful motivators, and more than almost anything else in our lives they will drive our behavior. Sometimes our greatest challenge is to get inside our own heads to understand what makes us tick. Why do we feel and behave the way we do?
Highly motivated, positive people are focused. The mind is clear, and energy levels are high. Also, many things can hold you back and prevent you from becoming all you can be. One of those things is…Emotional Baggage.
I know two family members who were best friends, but several years ago, one reminded the other of something that had happened thirty years earlier. One thing led to another and, you know what, they haven’t spoken since.
Anger or resentment is like a cancer, and when you let it go untreated, it will put an invisible ceiling on your future. You don’t know it…but it does.
William Ward identified the cure when he said, “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the handcuffs of hate.”
Those are powerful words, and I know from personal experience…forgiveness works. A few times in my life I’ve been greatly wronged and taken advantage of. My first reaction, of course, was anger and resentment. I held it for awhile and felt my stomach tie up in knots, my appetite wane, and the joy slip out of my life. The quote from Ward provided the wake-up call I needed to forgive the person who had wronged me. It was like I had been playing the first half of a basketball game with three-pound steel shoes, and in the locker room the coach said, “Mac, try these new Nikes in the second half.” Multiply that by then and you’ll understand how great it feels to unload your “emotional baggage” through the power of forgiveness.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
loved loved it.. I am praying for a couple of family members that are not talking. and tried to give them my 2cents but they are totally not receiving it. I guess it has to be up to them to unload their own emotional baggage.
Dear Mac,
As a devout Christian of many years, I am ashamed and embarrassed to say that I have been unable to forgive my mother for the constant rejection of “me”. She died four years ago. I did not meet her until I was 16, and she raised my brother, but did not want me; thus I was raised by my Christian grandmother (what a blessing!). Over the years I tried everything to gain her approval, but most of all I longed for her love. She was 80 when she died. I spent those last weeks out-of-state in a hospice with her, helping with bathroom duties, etc—still wanting her “acceptance”/love. It really never came. However, with God’s help, after reading your article, I HAVE to forgive her. I am a grandmother now and have lessons to teach to my five precious grandchildren. THANK YOU for this article. May God richly bless you and your ministry for impact it has on your audience.
I have grown hydrangeas for the past 3 years. In my attempt to purchase one that would bloom beautiful white large flowers, I purchased 8 different species. I admiringly drove past a beautiful hydrangea bush on my way to work everyday and wished so badly I could find THAT kind of hydrangea. One day, as I was driving by, the lady who planted the bush I admired so much was out working in her flower bed. I stopped to tell her my problem and asked her if I could purchase a start of her plant. She said no but if I had time she would dig up a start for me. I explained to her that I was on my way to a meeting so I couldn’t help get the start then but I would love to come back later. She replied “You go ahead to your meeting and I will dig up the start and place it in a pot at the end of the drive-way. You can pick it up on your way back home”.
She lived up to her word and as I returned a few hours later there was my pot of hydrangeas. What a blessing life is when wonderful people go out of their way to be kind just for the pure purpose of kindness. I plan on leaving her a pot of my lilies at the end of her drive with a note that reads: “Kindness touches the heart of a friend & the souls of those we don’t even know. It changes our view from that of a sparrow’s meager flight to the soaring of an eagle’s grandeur. You made my heart smile and my soul soar with the eagles today. Thank you, my unknown friend, for giving. Your kindness will forever be remembered.” Connie Ray
I totally agree with the fact the forgiveness can help in releasing emotional baggage. Forgiveness and gratitude can clear the clutter in our mind and and help us think clearly.
Hello Jeff / Mac
I love the work you have done, and though I haven’t bought any of your works yet… I plan to invest in them soon….
I have time and again come back to one of your stories, and online movies. My kids enjoy listening to the Johnny story ( stservice.com ).
Reading about emotional baggage and forgiveness reminded me of the core work of Arbinger Institute.. whose work on self-deception has had a tremendous impact on my life…
You see, what is true forgiveness… if I feel the need to forgive, am I not already blaming the other for doing some wrong ? If I do this, am I really forgiving ?
Then what would be true forgiveness ? I don’t know, is it utopian to not take offence, to not NEED to forgive anymore ? Is it when I feel like saying sorry for blaming and shunning the other for so long – for the perceived wrong ?
I think I need to go back and read the book “Bonds that make us free..”.. It has a chapter on forgiveness….
check it out at http://www.meridianmagazine.com/books/011005bonds.html
Thanks and best wishes.
venu
Letting go of “emotional baggage” is a rebirthing experience. You suddenly connect the dots and see how one misconception has lead to another, how your soul has been tied down by an invisible spider web of negative thoughts that really have no fundamental reason of existence. To stand up to our feelings, to look at our emotions and all the ripple effects they have in our life is to realize that we can easly break through the spiderweb. Dust that piles up in the corners of our minds and souls, it’s time to clean up the attic so new fresh air can come in and reenergize our lives. Emotions are just emotions, they may be positive or they may set limits for us if we tie them to thoughts and let them set in as our core values. Letting go of limits, of emotional baggage, seeing the possibilities sets us free and lets us enjoy the rest of our journey.
This is so true,forgiveness and gratitude are 2 things that will make your life much better. I try to practice both.
you are absolutely right jeff. i have gone through that myself . i have not spoken to my cousin for 7 years just for small misunderstanding . but after i forgot everything and cleared out everything , now we are talking everyday and help each other in business .
You are so right. Holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. In our personal and business dealings resentment sucks energy from all the forward thinking positive actions we could be taking to move forward.
Forgiveness work in either arena frees up energy and gives us new hope for the future. It is hard to forgive someone who has wronged you or betrayed you, but it is perhaps the most important thing you can do for yourself.
Thanks Mac-
Your work is Truth. Because Truth is Alive and Powerful, my mind, heart and emotions are touched is a very Powerful way as I view and read your work.
Thank You for Your Leadership!
I will be forwarding my passionate response to a recent political speech for you consideration. This came about as a result of both
1.) God working forgiveness within my heart toward an abusive parent and
2.) response to the Love Joy Movie ‘Power Shot’ I received from a friend.
Deborah
I have been reciving this newsletter for over a year now and words can not say how much the movies inspire me.
I am a 16yr., breast cancer “Survivor” and the movies have helped me so much when i am really stressed out or waiting for test results.I have shared it with so many friends and family members in hope they will get something out of it to.I don’t see how anyone could watch the movies and not feel their spirit moved by them.I believe it helps me in my survivorship!Thank you from the bottom of MY HEART!!!!!
This is absolutely very true and works! For a very long time i struggled to forgive my 2 collegues who had developped resentment for me because they felt that my boss favoured. For about 2 months we never talked after one of them told me on my face that the boss favoured me! they had even gone to the extent of giving me a nickname that i came to learn when one of them sent a me wrong message unknowingly talking about me. I was very hurt. After reading these encouraging messages, i day one day invited them for a cup of coffee told them how i felt about how they treated me. i forgave them,forgot everything now we are talking everyday. recently they called me and asked for forgiveness. Thank you for these encouragements!!! May God richly bless you.
I have been receiving your newsletter for a long time, but it only at this time that got into my attention and interest. How I wish I could get a set of your wonderful materials and inspiration, but as for the moment, I am penniless and could not afford to do so.
I work as an International Coordinator for development and dedicated my life, services and the little I have for the poor in Asia, Africa and Eastern Europe.For the moment , I am based in Rome, but on late January, I will be based in the Philippines as International Coordinator of ISDEC – Asia.
I will have a new e-mail address then and I will let you know. Thank you again for the inspirations you are sowing around the world which keep the world and its people brighter and happier.
Sister Timothy Villaram, fsp
ISDEC International Coordinator
Via San Giovanni Eudes, 25
00163 Rome, Italy
Tel. 0039/06.661.30.39
Fax.0039/06.661. 57.208
E-mail: timisdec@fspemail.it
I would like to add the other end of this puzzle too – that of apology. When one feels the one needs to forgive something, it often pays to take a closer look at one’s own responsibilities. Do that, and you will often find something that you did to create the situation that could be resolved by the power of apology.
As the old saing goes it’s extreamly true “Err is humane & pardon’s devine”. But it requires strenght & spiritual compromise to forgive not for trivial things but for thing like infidility & adversity.If your loved one, your husband, your child’s father left you behind without fair reason,it requires measureless srength to forgive.
These words really represent the desired foundimentals of true success. Many years ago, I had the previllage to be acquainted with some writings on true motivation for a successful life in every undertaking; somehow I lost the essence of it all through a series of very unfortunate circumstances. Now, I must thank you very much with all my heart for refreshing my subconsciousness on the realities of life.
Thank You.
Lionel A. Frederick.
buddhima jayarathne – may be god took away wrong person from your life and made the room for the better person and more deserving for you and your child , . evrything happens for the good , just wait and watch for the devine intervention .